You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
