Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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