And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
