i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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