got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
