I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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