I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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