I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
