my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
