And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
