Your dad touched me again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize