is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
