we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
