Your dad touched me again.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
