you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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