every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize