I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
