I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
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