bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
