I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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