Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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