omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
