you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
