I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
