What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
