ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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