addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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