She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
