You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
