I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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