Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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