I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
