he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize