Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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