Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
