I think I died a long time ago.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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