hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
