You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
