I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
