We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
