Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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