Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize