can u get pink eye on your cock?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
