I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
