I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She announced her abortion via fbk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
