But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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