Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
my poor anus
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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