he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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