she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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