Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
