I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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