i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My feet surprised me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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