I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
