Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
