brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
