Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
