I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
