I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize