I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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