Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
