we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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