Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
