good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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