YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize