what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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